Unfortunately, I didn’t write that version. I didn’t complete any version. I did, however, develop the same idea, which shows you the value of incomplete ideation:
Five years ago I had the notion to write an alphabet book where all the letters were silent. I’d call it “M is for Mnemonic” and mess with kids. Last year, lying late at night on a tennis court under the stars, a friend and I spitballed different words. We finished the alphabet. Those notes are below.
P is for Pterodactyl is currently #1 on Amazon. It’s pun-filled, polished, and most importantly published. Kudos to the writer. It’s a great idea.
A is for oatmeal
B is for dumb or subtle
C is for yacht or cnidarian
D is for Django Reinhardt, now unchained.
E is for hate
F is for <beep>
G is for slaughter
H is for herb or eh
I is for the rain in Spain, which falls mainly on the plain.
J is for fjord
K is for knife
L is for talk or folk.
M is for mnemonic (name of book?)
N is for god damn
O is for tough
P is for corps
Q is for (quiet) (because quiet is silent even though the q isn’t. For example, if someone is mouthing “quiet!”)
S is for corps
T is for Colbert. Like Stephen, eating sorbet.
U is for baroque
V Is for Moskva (Moscow)
X is for faux
W is for ewe.
Y is for you
Z is for the first z in pizza
The background storyline / one of the storylines is a pair of parents fighting because they’re having trouble teaching their kid the alphabet
Try sending it as a real children’s book of just the letter-phrases and illustrations, captioned “for gifted tykes”
Then, we can also hit the ironic market after. It’s not the first market though, and the real market has a larger chance to be really big