In which Our Hero notes the ways that behaviors cover emotions
I might have hurt my pec muscle while lifting weights earlier. Immediately after, I was more fun and entertaining than I’ve been during this entire trip (to see friends over the last week). Is this causal? I think maybe.
When something is on my mind, it’s much easier to do something else. It’s almost a distraction. In pain? Be entertaining. I read an article on professional comics that said something like “many comics are feeling a lot of pain/sadness when they’re being most entertaining”. (Per this article: “British comedian Stephen Fry confessed to the common mental state he experiences when performing; “there are times when I’m doing QI and I’m going ‘ha ha, yeah, yeah’, and inside I’m going ‘I want to fucking die. I… want… to… fucking… die.'”)
It was nice to arrive at recognizing that pain and fear. It’s never pleasant to be afraid for one’s body or health. (I should note that the concern is not a big one: if it’s injured in a meaningful way, odds are very high it’s only minor and will resolve itself over the next week or two.)
It’s also just a fact of life that my failure makes me better elsewhere. Like I’m distracting myself / compensating for something.
Perhaps that’s
just how
it is
🤡
Julian Wise 