A reflection on partner’s reflection
Partner seems much happier today. Less pressured. Less stressed. Less worried. More reflective.
I’d think she’s high, but I know she’s not.
Is it the weekend? The days of space while I’m miles away? The joy that comes from wanting to be with someone, when not stifled by actually being with them?
Or am I changed? Different? more open and relaxed.
I really, really think its her.
I’m glad she has time to herself. To work and gym and walk. The same things we do when we’re together. But recently, it’s been all business. The apartment floorplan; her work; my work. Heads-down in a hyper-focused sort of way.
The time we’re free, we spend playing cards with friends.
We plan or we execute. We execute or we plan.
We don’t get to have space.
Is there a value to space.
To the separation you get from separating.
To the open, empty curiosity.
To the necessary reflection. The seeing. The reckoning.
Is that what I’m seeing? This open, energized, asking-for-what-she-wants version of a woman I love?
Is that the beauty that space creates?
Do we have too little of that in our days together?
Should I take some action to create more…
I enjoyed writing that.
To explore its ideas.
To mull its philosophy and systems-level approach.
But also,
I think not.
I think it more likely
today was just,
finally,
a warm,
sunny
day.
Julian Wise 