I have always depended on the kindness of loopholes.
I applied for my NYC ID today.
I brought my passport for proof of identity and utility bill for proof of address.
The receptionist rejected my utility bill since it was digital.
I don’t have a printer. The receptionist said I could go to UPS across the street to use their printer. But it costs $5.
I asked, “Could I use your printer?”
“We can’t print applicant materials,” she replied. “It’s against policy.”
“What do you do when a homeless person comes in?”
“They have a letter from the shelter.”
“What about someone who’s too poor to print?”
“They have a letter.”
“Is there any way I could use your printer.”
“No.”
Walking out, I saw a cop in the lobby. I approached his desk. Unprompted, he said, “Bathroom?”
I said, “I got a quick question for you. I need to print something for my appointment. But I just moved here: I don’t have a printer. Could you help me out?”
He said, “Yes, but you’ll need to email it to me”, then gave me a wet and bent business card. I emailed him the PDF.
Then, the best part: he used the printer in the IDNYC office! He walked in past the receptionist, retrieved the document from her printer, walked back out with the printed copy, handed it to me, at which point I walked it back in.
The receptionist said, “Thanks for coming back. Did they charge you $5?”
I said, “I printed somewhere else”.
When leaving, I told her, “By the way, the cop out front can print. So you can send people to him instead.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that.”
I wonder if she’ll ever find out it’s her printer.
Julian Wise 