“People say to me, “thank you for your service.” I say, “You ruined my country.”

“People say to me, “thank you for your service.” I say, “You ruined my country.”

or

Talk to the man in the reflective vest in line behind you at Whole Foods.

A non-fiction monologue. Not verbatim, but accurate.

I been a marine for 27 years. I went away to war and the country was Leave it to Beaver. I come back and the country’s run by bullies. It’s the fat girls who became HR directors.

People say to me, “Thank you for your service.” I say, “You ruined my country.”

Twenty-seven years ago, war starts and all the strong men go away. Who stays back? Weak men. Now, the strong men come back and they’re messed up in the head. Who’s in charge? The fat girls who were bullies in high school. These are the people who speed up to get in front of you on the sidewalk just so they can slow down. Me? I’m married to a 32-year old Indonesian woman. Muslim, never been with a man.

I said that to my HR director. I said to her, “It’s the fat girl mentality running this company. That’s why our turnover’s so high.” Since I said that, our turnover rate plummets.

I say to my boss, “I don’t care if it’s PC or not. I say what I think” and he gets that.

I been a marine for 27 years. I been burned, cut up. I say things, people get mad. People say they’re not politically correct. I say, “Maybe not for your country now, but my country’s older than yours and there’s still some of us left.”