Love Island: Australia is one of my favorite TV shows. I wrote a comedy sketch parodying it. If you’d enjoy filming it with me, comment on this doc or shoot me an email.
Love Island Sketch
[Shots of a beautiful island paradise, then a mansion. An attractive man’s face in sunglasses. Then a woman’s foot in a high heel, panning up]
Voiceover:
- You couldn’t get enough of Love Island Australia, US, and UK. Now, time for the hit new show pairing stunning women with dashing dudes… Love Island: Sharia.
[Zooming out from the high heel: A woman in a burqa]
- It’s the romantic intrigue of Romeo and Juliet. And the family intrigue of… Romeo and Juliet.
[The woman stands flanked by her parents – a mustachioed man and an older woman in a burqa]
HOST (a man):
- It’s time for the coupling.
[Zoom out to see there are 3 eligible women, each flanked by a mustachioed man and an older woman in a burqa]
- Our first contestant, come on out.
[A muscular, mustachioed man emerges. He saunters to center-stage.]
- Muhammad is from Saudi Arabia. His hobbies include praising god and worshiping the prophet Mohammed.
- Muhammad, tell us about yourself.
Muhammad:
- I pray 5 times a day.
HOST:
- What are you looking for in a wife?
Muhammad:
- At least 3 goats.
HOST:
- Contestants, step forward if you’re interested in Muhammad.
[All 3 of the fathers (not the daughters) step forward.]
HOST:
- Muhammad, all three of these lovely ladies are interested in you. Who will you choose?
Muhammad:
- (Pointing) Her.
HOST:
- Why did you choose this man’s daughter?
Muhammad:
- She looks like her mother.
HOST:
- Muhammad and this man’s daughter: you’re our first couple.
[Glamor shots of the couple standing beside each other, her parents in the back.]
- Our second contestant, come on out.
[A muscular, mustachioed man emerges. He saunters to center-stage.]
- Mohammed is from Saudi Arabia. His hobbies include worshipping the prophet Mohammed and praising god.
- Mohammed, tell us about yourself.
Mohammed:
- I am named after the prophet to whom I pray 5 times per day.
HOST:
- What are you looking for in a wife?
Muhammad:
- A woman who is chaste and will serve me.
HOST:
- Contestants, step forward if you’re interested in Muhammad.
[All 3 of the fathers (not the daughters) step forward.]
HOST:
- Mohammed, all three of these lovely ladies are interested in you. Who will you choose?
Mohammed:
- (Grunts, along with a gesture)
HOST:
- Why did you choose this man’s daughter?
Mohammed:
- Her father looks wealthy.
HOST:
- Mohammed, congratulations: you’re our second couple.
[Glamor shots of the couple standing beside each other, her parents in the back.]
- Our final contestant, come on out.
[A famous American actor emerges, dressed in a muscle tank and board shorts. One of the women contestants immediately steps forward. Her parents are appalled.]
- Chad is from Santa Monica. His hobbies include surfing and weightlifting. Chad, tell us about yourself.
Chad:
- I like surfing, partying, and having a good time.
[A second woman steps forward. Her parents are appalled.]
HOST:
- What do you look for in a partner?
Chad:
- I like someone strong and fun with a bodacious bod.
[The third woman steps forward.]
One of the contestants’ fathers (Aggressively):
- How often do you pray?
Chad:
- I pray all the time, man. For gnarly waves. [Shoots a shaka]
[All three contestants step forward again]
HOST:
- All three of these lovely ladies are interested. Who will you choose?
Chad:
- Are you single?
HOST (a man):
- Me?
Chad:
- Yeah, man!
[Shots of the angry fathers.]
Voiceover (shots of a beautiful island):
- Next week on Love Island: Sharia.
[Chad is bound on his hands and knees while the three fathers host a trial for him.]
Julian Wise 