In which Our Hero <grumblegrumblegrumble>
Two days ago I acquired a free fridge. My partner and I wheeled it home: 6 short blocks and 1 long block. Arriving home, we spent 1.5 hours removing fridge doors and apartment doors just to learn it’s slightly too large.
No bother: another person in the Facebook free group can take it. We text yesterday and she offers to pick it up today between 2 and 3pm. I confirm.
Today I tell her 2:45pm is ideal.
She says fine.
At 2:30pm, I say I’m around and ready. She says she’s delayed: would 3pm work?
I say that timing is worse for me, but we could do it if it’s exactly that time.
At 3, she tells me 3:30. She gives me the phone number of “her uncle”, who is coming to pick it up. I call. He says he’s 15 minutes away.
They finally arrive at 4:15. It’s not her uncle: it’s a moving company that she paid $350 to move the fridge for her.
This entire time I’m pissed. Sure, I’m doing work from home that I would just be doing across town with my partner. It’s not the impact on my productivity: it’s the disrespect. I’m giving you a free fridge.
I glance at her Facebook page. She is a single mother of two.
It’s a hard spot: on the one hand, I’d like to help someone in need. On the other, she made my day worse.
And, like, never even said thank you.
What did I learn?
- Especially when being kind/helpful/generous, establish what I can do and when. Let others fit it.
- Use the time better. The angry/annoyed time could have been better spent.
I’m considering messaging her to say “Hey, just an FYI: your misestimating of timing by 1.5hrs made my day much worse. If you had given a more accurate window, or even told me it was a wide window, I would have been able to plan better.”
Would I feel better? Yeah. Would she do better? Unlikely to do worse!
There is probably no justice to be had here. We’re talking about a free fridge handoff, after all.
But even without justice, perhaps we can inject some humanity.
Julian Wise 