A view into my daily life.
“Write about oxtail soup.”
“You could write about how good I am at making tasty food in all sorts of ways.”
“Nooooooo you can’t say that.”
–Partner, in answer to my question, “What should I write about today?”
Partner and I have a new approach to food.
As we recently moved in and are about to renovate our apartment, cooking options are limited to 1) A sous vide, and 2) Two Instant Pots.
Why two Instant Pots?
They were free. Unused. From Facebook. From the same person.
Why did they have two unused Instant Pots?
🤷♀️
Partner: “I learned how to make frybread once.”
Me: “Mmhmm?”
Partner: “End of story.”
Partner: “Okay, the context was someone else talking about the best food and … Indian fry bread.”
Partner: (Mockingly) “Native American fry bread.”
Partner is now saying things in an effort to make me write them.
I will not comply.
—
Me: “You have any edits [on my daily writing]?”
Partner: “Boooooo.”
Partner, 2 minutes later: “Now I have to self-censor.”
Me: “No you don’t.”
Partner: “Because what I want to say is ‘Poopy butts’.”
<Seeing my writing>
“You wrote it wrong. It was ‘Poopy butt face’. That’s funny. ‘Poopy butts’ is disgusting. You’re an unreliable narrator.”
—
Partner: “I feel like you need a closing… something clever.”
(Upon reading this) “That’s not clever.”
Julian Wise 