At a two-year-old’s birthday party, the kids who spend time with their friends feel no awkwardness. Until the adults intervene.
In the first case, one kid had a toy. The other kid approached and snatched it away. (It is, after all, his toy.) Neither kid cared. Until an adult said something like “share with her”… which created more tension.
In a second case, one of the parents said “say happy birthday to X”. Immediately their druaghter became shy. She had been 0% shy the entire time. The formality caused a non-connective interaction. The “I-you” interaction became a “this formal entity executes a prescribed interaction with that formal entity”.
When are you just doing? And when are you a formal form interacting with other formal forms?
I suggest: doing is the most fun. The least self-conscious. The simplest.
Formality is brought by top-down structures. And hot damn is it less fun.
—
Amusing quotes:
Someone said to Partner as Partner walked down the street: “I hope yo face get better. Let me know who did it. I got yo back.”
Who says New Yorkers aren’t kind?
Julian Wise 