In which Our Hero has a ball by losing part of one.*
The second thing I told my partner after emerging from surgery: “That was fun. Can I get paid to do that?” (I guess it’s somewhat like the premise of the TV show Severance.)
I *really* like being unconscious. And awakening from anasthesia is exceedingly pleasant.
This might not be everyone’s experience of surgery, but for mine:
- Before going in, I made a wager with my partner. She set the over-under line for duration at 26 minutes (from Julian leaves room to Julian re-enters room). I took the under.
- As the doctors faffed around me in the operating room, the last thing I thought was “Eugh, I didn’t factor in this time”.
- Okay, the real last thing I thought was, “Huh, in the States the anesthesiologist tells you to count down as they knock you out. This guy is just waving “buh bye” at me.”
- After surgery, the first thing I did was tell a joke.
- It’s my favorite bilingual Spanish joke.
- The doctors didn’t appreciate it.
- Perhaps I told it poorly.
- Perhaps they didn’t expect a bilingual joke from the clown who just woke up from surgery.
- As I returned to the waiting room, I began to sing.
- My partner tells me she knew I was returning because I’m the only person who would possibly sing in this context.
- Total duration: 44 minutes.
- I even enjoyed losing the bet.
I don’t know that there’s a job that pays like this for doing this. Medical experiments, perhaps, but I’m not sure I’d like to do those…
Hmm.
🤡
*(No, it’s not a reason for concern.)
Julian Wise 