I’m making a cookbook. It’s called “Real Recipes, Real Author, Fake Chef.” This is the first entry:
Dinner: Couldn’t Afford the Expensive Cow.
- 1 lb of the ground beef once you learn that the steak is $30/lb
- Last week’s kale
- Bertolli Alfredo sauce
- 2 TB Kerrygold butter
- Turn on the stove.
- Dump in half the ground beef. When you can’t find a Tupperware, just tell yourself you’ll finish it soon and put the rest straight in the fridge.
- Add butter. You should have done this earlier.
- Dump in kale.
- Using a spatula, smash all the ingredients together.
- Once the beef is brown, transfer to a bowl.
- Notice you haven’t washed the pan in a week. Grumble that it’s cast iron, so probably requires some weird cleaning steps.
- Wash the pan anyway. Look at you – so clean!
- Drizzle the remainder of the Alfredo sauce from the fridge.