To win, play your game. To play your game, reframe theirs.
Last night, Partner and I were awake until 3:43am packing up our entire apartment and moving things to our basement storage locker. We awoke at 4:18am for our 7am flight.
On the airplane, Partner attempted to recline her seat. The woman behind her pushed on the seat, preventing reclining. Partner continued attempting, reasoning, “Either she will give up or I will give up, and either is fine.”
Once the woman-behind gave up, Partner reclined her seat. The woman-behind banged upon the seat, first at the level of the head, then at the back. Partner reasoned: “I can reframe it into a massage. It’s not a problem now. If it becomes one, I can call the flight attendant.” (Partner’s later comment: “To be honest, it felt kind of nice. It wasn’t work to reframe it, I just chose to appreciate the positive part and ignore the negative part.”]
When the flight landed, the woman-behind and her husband stood up immediately, announcing: “We have a tight connection and no bags!”
People let them pass. Partner commented that she had seen the couple be forced to gate-check bags, so getting off early didn’t advantage them. They had also gate-checked their bags to their final destination: Nashville. Where we had just landed. They didn’t have a connection. They felt the need to justify their actions with a lie. The passenger who shared the couple’s row said, “They were wild. Wonder what other shenanigans they’re getting up to.”
People play games differently.
Julian Wise 