Tag: Partnership

“NPR taught me some new slurs” -Partner

A college partner and I wanted to create a new slur. We didn’t have a group we wanted to slur; we were simply linguistically inclined. 

We arrived at the percussive sounds: Ts and Ks. We developed the term “Tunk” (or “Tunq”). No coincidence that it shares phonemes with the word “Cunt”. 

Earlier today, Partner was listening to NPR. Apparently the word “Tonk” has become a slur for Latinos, alluding to the sound of someone getting hit on the head (presumably by a billy club). 

We were off by a vowel.

The cashier at the Family Dollar looked me dead in the eyes throughout our interaction. He asked how my day was and wished me a pleasant evening. He made the sort of jokes that a cashier does to a beloved customer. His pep was, dare I say, manager material. 

The whole experience would have been a perfect example of customer service… 

If Partner hadn’t been beside me. 

See: Partner’s swollen lower face currently makes her resemble a bullfrog. And her nose emits a long white tube that dangles down to a safety pin clipped to her shirt. 

After we left, I asked Partner: “Did he ever make eye contact with you?” 

She said no. 

That was my guess too. 

The guy wasn’t only being friendly to me.
He was covering for his discomfort re Partner. 

When someone looks grotesque, we’re taught not to stare.
That’s a fine starting point, but it misses the purpose.
If Partner always looked like this, staring would be preferable.
This was worse: this was dehumanization. 

Right now, Partner doesn’t mind: She knows she looks weird, but she’s still a human.
Her grotesqueness feels to her like a costume she will soon take off.
But if you were always treated like a non-human, how long would it take for you to doubt it? 

(Fourth in the Top Secret Games series, after Trader Joe’s, Airport, and Bathroom Line)

1. If you need immediate assistance, press the “Nurse Call” button and yell “Explosive Diarrhea!”. Someone will come running. This one is especially helpful if you’re hooked up to wires. (This game was told to us by the nurse herself. Never used, but helpful to have in one’s back pocket.) 
2. If you’re in severe pain and your nurse hasn’t come by in ~2 hours, ring your “Nurse Call” button. The charge nurse will ask what you need. Stay silent. Someone will come immediately. (Also not actually used, but hypothesized to be quite effective.) 
3. X-ray tech will show you pictures if you’re cool. They also say you’re good to go to the local aquarium with a nasogastric tube. 
4. There is popcorn in the lobby. They do not have a port for nasogastric tubes. But they will laugh with you when you make the joke. 
5. If you’re short, children with cancer will think you’re a child and give you a half-wave acknowledgement. Facial swelling and a nasogastric tube might have helped here. 
6. The home health care people will set you up so you can buy a bunch of stuff. OR, if you ask, the nurse will just grab you the stuff anyway, seemingly for free. 

Like a low opinion, not like a ghost. 

Today, a friend taught me the board game Brass Birmingham. There’s one rule in the game – the rule that you can sell any and all of your items in one fell swoop – that I forgot. And my friend mentioned it specifically! During his beginning explanation, he had specifically said, “The first few times we played the game, we got this rule wrong.” 

And the explainer video had mentioned it. 

And I just… forgot. 

It was a pivotal rule. I would have played entirely differently. 

The culprit? 

1. Me. I was told: fair play. 
2. The tiny little reference card that the game gives each player. If they phrased the card differently, it would be obvious! 

I used to playtest games. I don’t know how this one slipped by them. A simple rephrasing would have changed the whole game. 

In a game that’s essentially just minutiae, way to tank the whole thing. 

Harrumph. 

I didn’t like this one rule mistake. I liked the rest of the game. In a large, intricate system, one small mistake can sink the ship. 

(Apparently, in reprints they have rephrased it. Grumble grumble.) 

—

Also, a humorous exchange while Parnter and I packed up our apartment ahead of renovations: 

Me: “Our relationship is really grating on me.”

Partner: “Our relationship is really great!”

Communication is the key to all good relationships.

Inspired by Mbappé’s miss at 55:25 in today’s France/Morocco game or 6:41 in this highlight video. 

Partner thinks that she and I had an argument earlier today. She is wrong. 

Partner thinks soccer players should miss more goals. She believes soccer players tend to be overly hesitant, and the best players (including Mbappé and Messi) shoot the ball sooner rather than waiting for the perfect moment that never comes. 

I also think that soccer players should miss more goals. I just think the manner in which they should rectify this mistake is more precise than her suggestion. I think they should miss goals by kicking the ball at the goal. (I.e. I believe missed shots on goal are good, not merely missed shots.)

When you kick a ball out of the end line, your opponents receive a goal kick. That’s bad. However, when you kick a ball toward the goal, sometimes it hits an opposing player or the goalie and ricochets back into play. In those circumstances, your team has an opportunity to regain possession or a rebound goal.

Both Partner and I agree that soccer players should shoot more balls. Both of us agree soccer players are overly hesitant. I take her insight one step further by only respecting an increase in shots that are on goal. 

Earlier today, Partner thought we had an argument. Now, I’m going to go tell her she was wrong.