I visited today with a family friend I have never felt comfortable around.
I have never known why. Just that I have found her logic and behavior unpredictable. And when an adult is in a position of power over you, behaving in unpredictable ways, it makes sense to feel uncomfortable. After all, trust is alignment + predictability.
Today, I gained a new hunch.
When Partner & I visited Ireland last month, we played a dark-humor game in the Dublin pubs: Spot the fetal alcohol. Thanks to this game, I have improved my skill at spotting those with fetal alcohol syndrome. (Hint: they look like Stephen King).
Today, I noticed that my family friend has no philtrum (a smooth upper lip) and eyes spaced to look like Stephen King’s.
I don’t have a fundamental issue befriending those with fetal alcohol syndrome. A friend of a dear friend has fetal alcohol syndrome. Stephen King has written many excellent books (and, frankly, I don’t actually know that he had fetal alcohol syndrome! I just know that his face bears its markings). As an ethical matter, I wish not to have an inherent negative judgment against people who experienced fetal alcohol syndrome. This woman, for example, is very smart and perfectly successful. She also demonstrates limited inhibition and judgment that differs from my own, and these traits caused me concern as a child.
Biology is one hell of a drug.
