New Orleans Would Agree If It Ever Came Home

On a cold Sunday night with my van heater blasting and a bit of white wine still seeping from my blood, I don’t feel misplaced. Not in the wrong place. Just alone, lonely, sad, and wanting. Maybe that’s this place.

The thing about travel? They don’t tell you it’s lonely. “An adventure of excitement and eye-opening growth.”

Yes, that’s travel. But it’s lonely, too.

It’s me and my dog, one month in our roadtrip. Atlanta, then Texas, now in New Orleans. Friends—some great friends—we met along the way. Yet still it’s just us— me and my dog.

Last night, out til 5, surrounded by parties, I made two new friends that I’m now gonna see. Interesting people with lives and opinions. Better than that, unique, fun, funny, too.

But now, when it’s late, and my sleep schedule’s fucked, I see why someone would get drunk again. Then it’s tomorrow. Who knows what could happen? Who wouldn’t have fun at a New Orleans club?

That’s not a solution. That’s open containers. Vessels transporting liquid from one place to place. People vibrating where they stand, moving forward only in time. Bleary, wide-eyed blobs drink to replace their cold sweat.

Why has this city not changed since Katrina? Why did my cabbie say there’s really no dif?

If you spend your life dancing, you’ve nothing to celebrate. That’s what this is: just an empty, wet kiss. But not one from your grandma or a dog or a lover. Just tongue from someone who, right now, like you, feels alone. Together will be great for the time that it’s lasting, but morning will come and you’ll have to go home.

Travel Log 191020 (Redacted Version)

Start: [Redacted], Pflugerville, TX

End: [Redacted], Pflugerville, TX

Delicious Delectables: 

  • Lindor Lindt White Chocolate Truffles. ALMOST A WHOLE BAG. 

Quotent Quotables: 

  • “How good it is to have something it’s so hard to say goodbye to.” -Winnie The Pooh 

Real Realizations: 

  • Rules of the game “Freelancer”: 
    • The goal of the game is to win. You win by making the most amount of money in the least amount of time. That metric is called “hourly rate.” Increase it as much as possible. 

Exciting Events: 

  • Walked Smidge when I was all grumpy-like.
  • Performed two user experience tests for [redacted]: one each on [redacted]. 
    • Very fun process! Much more fun than I’d feared. 
  • Video chatted with [redacted] for two hours! 😄  
    • He recently attended a thanksgiving party at which he listed three things he’s grateful for. One of them was me! 
      • He really enjoys being able to sit with me in comfortable silence. Me too. And I want to become even more comfortable with him! 
    • I regaled him with stories of Myschevia and my other recent escapades. More than once, he was surprised; nay, shocked!
  • Bought [redacted] a succulent plant. 
  • [Redacted] returned from the renaissance faire.
    • They [redacted]. No wonder [redacted]! 
  • Walked Smidge again, just after it rained. It was wonderful! 
  • Teased [redacted] a bit. They said it was too much. I apologized. 
    • [Redacted]. 
    • Also, however, [redacted]. 
  • Played Slime Volleyball with [redacted]. Such a fun game. 

Alluring Activities: 

  • [Redacted] review tomorrow. 
  • Call with [redacted] tomorrow to discuss my hourly rate.

Travel Log 191019 (Redacted Version)

Start: [Redacted], Austin TX. 

End: [Redacted], Pflugerville, TX

Delicious Delectables: 

  • Bought 10 cans of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup. Ate 4 today, cold, straight out of the can. 
  • Domino’s Pizza for dinner. 

Quotent Quotables: 

  • “I think everyone’s more of a jerk when they’re sick. If you’re a genuinely good person when you’re sick, then there’s something wrong with you.” -[redacted]

Real Realizations: 

  • Having a place to use as home base matters. 
  • Living in a temperature-controlled house matters. 

Exciting Events: 

  • Made [redacted] for the first time in ~6 months. He doesn’t typically [redacted], esp not [redacted]. 
    • [Redacted]  
  • Woke up with a sore throat. Wasn’t sure if it was illness or just tired muscles from too much [redacted]. 
  • Negotiated [redacted] with [redacted]. [Redacted].
  • Played Hogwarts Battle with [redacted]. Fun game. I like co-ops. 

Alluring Activities: 

  • A relaxing day tomorrow. 

Travel Log 191018 (Redacted Version)

Start: [Redacted]’s house, South Austin, TX

End: [Redacted]’s [redacted], [redacted], Austin TX. 

Delicious Delectables: 

  • Sous vided two steaks for [redacted] and myself; seared it at the end. Was DELISH. 

Quotent Quotables: 

  • “I can’t even spell API.” – Me, making a joke after someone asks if I can help them get an API key. 
  • “Your bathroom does a great job of making people uncomfortable while they pee.” -Me, to [redacted]. 

Real Realizations: 

  • While scritching & belly-rubbing Simba ([redacted]’s cat) and sitting between him & Smidge, the feeling that I’m precisely where I’m supposed to be. 

Exciting Events: 

  • [Redacted] with [redacted]. [Redacted] fun. She [redacted]. Feels like I won. 
    • [Redacted]. I don’t mind, hey 🙂  
  • Worked on [redacted] for 2+ hours. Tried to get in touch with [redacted], presumably to discuss [redacted]. 
    • Decided my strategy in that conversation: 
      • 1. [Redacted]. Ask if we can re-approach [redacted] in the next quarter [redacted]. 
      • 2. [Redacted] in a graduated fashion. [Redacted]. 
      • 3. [Redacted]
  • Cuddled with [redacted]. It gave me the feels. 
    • Probably the first time someone’s asked me. “Can I kiss you?”. It was ADORABLE. Really cute. Loved it. 
    • Kissed [redacted] back, our second time. Felt too much, like [redacted] felt uncomfortable being not-in-control. If we kiss again, I’ll make sure [redacted] feels safe. 

Alluring Activities: 

  • Yard sale tomorrow? I LOVE yard sales!