Tag: Philosophy

Clank! In Space!. 

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(Punctuation intentional)

Today I taught a new game to friends. The game is called Clank! In Space!. It’s my favorite game. 

The game contains around 8 different loops, each of which is 3-5 different details. This makes explaining the game somewhat complicated. Lots of details. 

But then, when you play it, the whole machine clicks. 

I prefaced by saying, “It’s the sort of game that requires playing twice to really get it. If we get a few turns in and you realize you get it, or you feel frustrated for making bad moves on previous turns, we can restart. Or if you want to discuss strategy, happy to do so, especially the first round.” 

I find this framing really helps people enjoy themselves. And even more importantly, to keep the game light and friendly, which is key for lessening the frustration of a first playthrough. 

We grinded the first game. It took ~2 hours. Bit of a slog. 

They liked it enough to play again. 

The clock had just passed 9:30pm. We waffled on it. 

Ookay – one of us justified playing again… so we did! 

Just past 11:30pm, we cleaned up the game, having completed a second run. 

Very fun. Go team! 😀 

I excite at the prospect of living with people who might want to board game like every night. 

I wonder if I’ll get some of that with my children. 

I wonder if they’ll inherit a love of games from me. 

For those who don’t, I’m happy they’ll explore their own area. 

For those who do, I’m always game. 

—

Two quotes: 

“You, more than anyone, skewed my perspective of gender. Many people are non-binary. I don’t think of you as non-binary. I think of you as very masculine, with a great rack.” –A friend. 

“An airplane crashed into Main Street Ukiah at 9am this morning. No injuries.” –Partner.

New Slur

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“NPR taught me some new slurs” -Partner

A college partner and I wanted to create a new slur. We didn’t have a group we wanted to slur; we were simply linguistically inclined. 

We arrived at the percussive sounds: Ts and Ks. We developed the term “Tunk” (or “Tunq”). No coincidence that it shares phonemes with the word “Cunt”. 

Earlier today, Partner was listening to NPR. Apparently the word “Tonk” has become a slur for Latinos, alluding to the sound of someone getting hit on the head (presumably by a billy club). 

We were off by a vowel.

The 12 Steps: Not Just for Addicts

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Why should addicts get all the healing? 

I went to an AA meeting once to see what the fuss was about. A friend was going and invited me along. (It turns out the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I drank for a few years in college, then realized I didn’t like alcohol, so I came along as a member.) The meeting piqued my curiosity but didn’t resonate with me. 

A few years later, I attended another Anonymous meeting of a different type. (A different friend was going.) Then a third type, another few years later. 

It’s shocking to me that the most impactful solution we have to a whole family of physical addictions is psycho-socio-communal-spiritual. That is to say: Alcohol is physically addictive. Why does making amends with other people help heal that addiction? 

The best doctors don’t treat symptoms. They treat causes. Addiction is self-medication. Anonymous meetings and the 12 steps work on that level. 

I don’t buy that you have to do every step of the 12 steps in order. If order were mandatory, I wouldn’t do them at all. I think each step has a key trait (or traits) that, when satisfied, does the healing. Ben Franklin did a moral inventory before AA was ever invented. 

Today I started my step 4 personal inventory. I spent 45 minutes jotting up areas in my life in which I feel angry and unable to let that anger go. I’m “hung up on it”, as the kids in 1972 might say. 

This is to say I’ve admitted I have a problem (just not in that way). A set of problems. A set of regrets that pop into my mind and which cause me to psychologically spasm with deep and profound regrets. 

So, without any obvious addiction that’s sent me to rock bottom, I’d like to do the steps. Specifically step 4 and step 8. 

Step 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” 

Step 8: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”

I think that, to do step 8, I may also need to do part of step 5 (“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” [I’m not sure the God part is important. The self and other human may be.]) 

16 months ago, I noticed something I felt a profound regret about. I jotted up a letter to that person in an attempt to mimic these steps (well, technically sending the letter is step 9). I shot it their way. They responded positively. I feel much better now. 

Today, I took step 1. Er, step 4. I skipped step 1. I’ll be the first to admit that’s not a problem.

Don’t Mess with Transit 

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How Houston missed the bus. 

A man with a hand cast approaches Partner in the Houston light rail. He points at her and points at himself as if to say “we’re both injured!” 

His opening line: “are you a believer?” 

Partner grunts, “Catholic”. 

He tells her that Jesus will take care of her. See: he prayed and his hand doesn’t hurt. 

— 

Houston is a car-based city. The light rail only navigates along a few specific stretches. Therefore the main people who use the light rail are those who don’t have cars. The selection effects mean the light rail users are mainly poor or homeless. It’s the highest proportion of people talking to themselves or yelling arguments at the empty air that I’ve ever seen. 

So what? 

So it’s a little bit of a spiral to the bottom. The New York City subway definitely has more total homeless or poor or ghost-yellers than the Houston light rail. But the proportion in Houston dwarfs that of New York. And it feels – at least to me – much less safe.  I wonder whether that causes it to only attract those without other options. So it attracts fewer riders – and fewer affluent and influential riders. And therefore the service doesn’t expand? 

Houston doesn’t necessarily need a better light rail. The buses also work well enough, if you’re okay standing in oppressive heat for fifteen minutes. But it’s a notable trait of infrastructure: if you don’t invest early enough, you’re generally better off waiting for the next paradigm. The US is a car culture. Next up: personal helipads? 

—

And a funny quote from Partner: 

“You know what’s the funniest part of BTUs? The Brits don’t use air conditioning.” 

How not to stare

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The cashier at the Family Dollar looked me dead in the eyes throughout our interaction. He asked how my day was and wished me a pleasant evening. He made the sort of jokes that a cashier does to a beloved customer. His pep was, dare I say, manager material. 

The whole experience would have been a perfect example of customer service… 

If Partner hadn’t been beside me. 

See: Partner’s swollen lower face currently makes her resemble a bullfrog. And her nose emits a long white tube that dangles down to a safety pin clipped to her shirt. 

After we left, I asked Partner: “Did he ever make eye contact with you?” 

She said no. 

That was my guess too. 

The guy wasn’t only being friendly to me.
He was covering for his discomfort re Partner. 

When someone looks grotesque, we’re taught not to stare.
That’s a fine starting point, but it misses the purpose.
If Partner always looked like this, staring would be preferable.
This was worse: this was dehumanization. 

Right now, Partner doesn’t mind: She knows she looks weird, but she’s still a human.
Her grotesqueness feels to her like a costume she will soon take off.
But if you were always treated like a non-human, how long would it take for you to doubt it? 

Top Secret Games: Hospital Edition

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(Fourth in the Top Secret Games series, after Trader Joe’s, Airport, and Bathroom Line)

  1. If you need immediate assistance, press the “Nurse Call” button and yell “Explosive Diarrhea!”. Someone will come running. This one is especially helpful if you’re hooked up to wires. (This game was told to us by the nurse herself. Never used, but helpful to have in one’s back pocket.) 
  2. If you’re in severe pain and your nurse hasn’t come by in ~2 hours, ring your “Nurse Call” button. The charge nurse will ask what you need. Stay silent. Someone will come immediately. (Also not actually used, but hypothesized to be quite effective.) 
  3. X-ray tech will show you pictures if you’re cool. They also say you’re good to go to the local aquarium with a nasogastric tube. 
  4. There is popcorn in the lobby. They do not have a port for nasogastric tubes. But they will laugh with you when you make the joke. 
  5. If you’re short, children with cancer will think you’re a child and give you a half-wave acknowledgement. Facial swelling and a nasogastric tube might have helped here. 
  6. The home health care people will set you up so you can buy a bunch of stuff. OR, if you ask, the nurse will just grab you the stuff anyway, seemingly for free. 

A Self-Fulfilling Competence

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A belief in my competence helps create my competence. 

I often experience the following while traveling: “did I bring X?” 

Then I assume I did not bring X. So I don’t look for X. So I don’t get the benefit of X despite the fact that I did in fact bring X! 

This structure – and mainly the assumption – creates a downward spiral of incompetence. In reality, however, the issue is not one of competence but one of perceived competence. If I accurately recalled that I had brought the item, I would instead pat myself on the back, reinforcing the positive behavior. 

So how do I overcome this spiral? Note when I succeed? Question the times when I assume I have failed? Something else? 

[Ironically, after writing this, I misplaced the exact item that I had written this post about. 😂]

Brass Booooooooooo-rmingham

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Like a low opinion, not like a ghost. 

Today, a friend taught me the board game Brass Birmingham. There’s one rule in the game – the rule that you can sell any and all of your items in one fell swoop – that I forgot. And my friend mentioned it specifically! During his beginning explanation, he had specifically said, “The first few times we played the game, we got this rule wrong.” 

And the explainer video had mentioned it. 

And I just… forgot. 

It was a pivotal rule. I would have played entirely differently. 

The culprit? 

  1. Me. I was told: fair play. 
  2. The tiny little reference card that the game gives each player. If they phrased the card differently, it would be obvious! 

I used to playtest games. I don’t know how this one slipped by them. A simple rephrasing would have changed the whole game. 

In a game that’s essentially just minutiae, way to tank the whole thing. 

Harrumph. 

I didn’t like this one rule mistake. I liked the rest of the game. In a large, intricate system, one small mistake can sink the ship. 

(Apparently, in reprints they have rephrased it. Grumble grumble.) 

—

Also, a humorous exchange while Parnter and I packed up our apartment ahead of renovations: 

Me: “Our relationship is really grating on me.”

Partner: “Our relationship is really great!”

Communication is the key to all good relationships.

Maybe the Department of Buildings is a racket? 

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It isn’t racketeering when the government does it. 

Here’s what happened: 

0. My friend’s architect told her: All plans submitted to the New York City Department of Buildings (DoB) get rejected the first time. The city receives a percentage of the total renovation costs, so they’ll require you to increase it. 

  1. My architect filled out the DoB website; I clicked submit. 
  2. The DoB examiner rejected my submission, requesting a higher price for the renovations and a detailed description of the price calculation. 
  3. My architect resubmitted with a 10% increased price, but without a detailed description of the calculation. 
  4. The DoB examiner accepted these new plans. 

Um, sure? 

I guess it’s possible that the original pricing was underestimated by exactly 10%. But also, what about that detailed calculation they requested? It seems much more likely that they just have a policy of rejecting every initial submission to increase their take. 

I’m reminded of Henry Kissinger’s method of accepting memos from his staff: 

Send the memo back with the line “Is this the best you can do?” scrawled on it in red ink. Then, scrawl the same on the resubmission. And repeat. After the third-or-so time, the guy will come running into your office screaming, “Yes, this is the best I can do!” At that point, calmly reply, “Okay, then I’ll read it.” 

Brooklyn Communists

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The best part of Brooklyn? It’s near New York City. 

Partner & I trained for 48 minutes each way to an event in Brooklyn. 

The event: four fifteen-minute talks plus Q&A, starting at 5pm since we had to vacate the space ahead of a different event starting at 6:30pm. 

Partner & I arrived at 4:40. One of the organizers said, “You guys are early. Could you come back in 20 minutes?”[1] 

If you’re going to have four fifteen-minute talks, plus Q&A time, you really want to start near 5pm. See, I don’t know what they teach you in Brooklyn. But here in Manhattan, 4 x 15minute = 60 minutes. And 60 minutes = an hour. 

Instead, they didn’t start until 5:20pm because, as they said, “Some people are coming from work.” 

No duh. It’s Thursday. How did you not consider this? 

So the talks got squished to 10mins each. And the Q&A got squished to one chunk of ~8 minutes. 

And only two people put their shoes in the little cabinet despite the cabinet being labeled “put your shoes in this cabinet”. And yes, they were Me & Partner. 

—

The talks were on living in communal spaces. Partner and I are interested in living with friends. We want to raise a family alongside other families, ideally in the same apartment or neighboring. 

But, for us this trait is only one of our interests. For the people at this presentation, co-living is the main part of their identity. 

One of the recommended processes for co-living: have a roommate check-in. Include open dialogue so different housemates can share their problems. 

My problem: a poorly scheduled, structured, and run event. 

[1] Partner says they said, “You guys are incredibly early.” I didn’t hear the incredibly.